Appeal?

"You cannot change and stay the same" I agree. Here's to changing completely. Time to focus on God ( firstly), myself ( secondly) and my schoolwork ( floating around second and third). I just know GOD is staying first.




Yep, new priorities. ^_^ !!! <3

http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wHERIqx/

I have two major goals, aside from Law School and they are weight loss and financial well-being, which is why I have fit day and mint.com accounts. Mazel to me!

There is so much to do and good lord I am so tired.

abuse and healing

I just realized the effect of the abuse my ex boyfriend had on me. I honestly feel like I lost so much of myself in the relationship. I gave so much and masked so much of my distain for him underneath smiles that I forgot who I really am. So I am trying to piece back the puzzle.

What I like:
Techno Music, Electronica , Rock,Bossa Nova and sometimes I like rap and R&B. Music I cannot stand the sound of: whiny rock bands and The Beach Boys...
To read, a lot. I love to read and I usually read stories for hours and hours with no problem.
To write.
I like to go sigh seeing, driving, losing weight lol, dining out and a bunch of other things that I stopped doing when I was dating Pudding. It was such a horrible relationship and I was so much better than he is worthy of. I wish I knew that before I started to consider him. No more low self-esteem moments for me. I am cutting people out and not dealing with this shit anymore!

So I am on the road of healing and recovery in more ways than just one.
And it will be a hard but worthy road. I am aping my study time from 2 to 4 hours 6 days a week. I literally have no excuse to do less than that to be honest. So yea... I am going back to me. My focus is on being the best me, mentally, physically and emotional, intellectually that I can possibly be. Period. Everything else is being let go.

My own vanity accompanied by boredom lead to this...

Basic Info....
[Marital Status] Single and almost ready to mingle.
[Height] 170 cm, 5'7 ish 8 ish..

Favorites:
[Color]pink,purple and grey. I like all colors really but pink the most.
[Number] 7
[Animal] Lions and horses
[Drink] Shirley temples.


Do you.....
[Color your hair?] yes, it's not even close to its real color right now.
[Twirl your hair?] No.
[Have tattoos?] No but I really want one, however, my religion doesn't allow it and I am indecisive.
[Have Piercings?] yes, many.
[Cheat on tests/homework?] Never
[Drink/Smoke?] Yes and yes.
[Like roller coasters?] Not really.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] Only back in Manhattan.
[Like cleaning?] No. I'd much rather hire a maid, just saying. I like it clean but I don't like doing it.
[Know how to drive?] Very much.

Have you ever...
[Been in a fist fight?] Yes.
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] Yes and I'd do it again if I had the chance.
[Stolen anything?] No
[Held a gun?]yes, I own one.
[Drank?] yes
[Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?] No, that sounds scary not fun.

When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
x\\ car: Benz
x\\ cape: SJP SIC season 3
x\\ penis: Condom?
x\\ cell: phone
x\\ shoe: sale!!!
x\\ fun: Barnes and Noble or shopping
x\\ crush: Sexy guys
x\\ music: Nadia Ali, Madonna, Lady GaGa and folks like her.
x\\ chalk: Elementary.

Growing up

I've learned that I have to live a life outside of my parents lives. It's hard but I must. I did horrible on the practice LSAT, I mean it didn't completely suck but it was 10 points lower than my diagnostic exam. I think a huge issue was that I wasn't studying prior AND I forgot to finish a section so I was left to guess. I need to improve my time tremendously. I'm just stressed and tired.

Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head

The pressure of the exam is on and I am feeling it. I understand the importance and while I have ample time to study I've set myself with superior goals to meet. Yes, high as *bleep*goals.

It just occured to me that I cannot afford to wake up late in the day and stay up all evening. I must-as painful as it intially is- get up early in the morning and get my day started. Seriously, I am so stressed I cannot even eat. I know I'm hungry but I canot even eat. I am so worried about my score! I'm obessesing! I knew this crazy shit would happen. Thank God I know how to dye my own hair-nothing other than dyeing and ponytails- or I'd look 100 years old right now! Damn. Last time I ate it was 1 p.m. that's almost five hours ago and I am hungry but I cannot eat. I need to food though. I think I'm going to get some salmon or blueberries and deal with it. Speaking of food the time has come for me to pack my lunch. I hate doing it(I alwyas forget my food) but I have too. Anyway, that's all for my rant. I feel better and now I am off to get sushi and study with my friend who's great at the exam and he never even studied it. Fuck him.