The countdown continues!

I am selling away all my free time for one of these things. Guess.

My issue

So I have an ED ( eating disorder) well I have two, bulimia and binge-eating disorder. Yes, it sucks as much as you think it does. Here is the skinny on what's big in my life. I saw this from a friends xanga and I totally understand where she's coming from so I only changed what was necessary to add. I figured I should post this, so my future entries make more sense.

My issues:
-I. Love. Food. I love food so much, I love eating, I love going out to eat, I love fast food, I love potatoes and meat and french fries and candy.
-I eat emotionally.
-I fear hunger. Literally fear it. The thought of hunger stresses me out. I have to know where my next meal is coming from.
-I'm not exercise's biggest fan. I know I'm overweight, and I know i need to fix it.
My aba is a huge contributing factor as to why I have an ED and he is of no help.
I'm currently in treatment.

Why now:
-I'm graduating from college next year. I'll be starting a new chapter in my life and I want to start it looking good.
-I'm sick of clothes not fitting.And not being able to wear what I want.
-I want to be the hot version of myself. I feel caught in limbo between sexy and cute. I'm already pretty (and I'm glad) but I want to be hot.

What I do love and want to keep:
I have amazing boobs and a great ass. I luckily have a small bone structure so even though I weigh 20-60lbs over what people think I weigh
I still look small.

Why Post this:
Because I am in recovery and the first step is admitting you have a problem.